June 2009: The Month That Refused To End

Pepe helps with the move.

Robot times two.

Huzzah! Life has regained meaning! After two weeks sans home internet service, Adam and I once again have a wireless connection and I can wile away hours of daylight, wilting in the sickly pale glow of the computer screen. Best of all, I can do so without shelling out $3.99 per two hours of Starbucks service.

June 2009 was not smooth sailing. There seemed to be an outlandish amount of turbulence for 30 days - my first experience with a home robbery, police rendezvous, landlord shenanigans, financial buffoonery, 10 days without my man, family health scares, quick moves, new lease, new apartment - culminating in one of the single happiest/emotional/amazing/scariest events of my life: Leo's (really) early arrival.

My cube: Tricia bobblehead, Leo's baby pic and that unexplained gold painted rubber glove that came with the desk.

It's been weeks since I've had a chance to sit and write about "normal" life (i.e. obsessively chronicling my Whole Foods purchases or analyzing my cat's behavior) and I'm loathe to admit that I have nothing better to offer than this entirely self-indulgent explanation of why it's been a whole damned month since I've posted. Oh, and a few new photos (Again, I would post many more images, but the douche that broke into my terrible Hollywood home had more use for my phone-to-computer-cord-cable than I.)

Tentative plans for a Steel Chef Redux are in the making. This time, with TWO guest judges and a slightly different approach. That post will be better than this. I promise.

Adam & Tricia's Steel Chef Challenge: The Inaugural Bout

It's no secret that I have an affinity for cooking, dining and food porn, and lately, Adam and I have been hooked on the biggest food porn purveyor of them all; "The Food Network." Perhaps it's because it provides that bit of mindless entertainment without terrible people degrading themselves and one another for a shot at 15 seconds of the creepiest type of fame imaginable.

A few weeks ago, we watched a mini-marathon of "Iron Chef: America," that featured an episode with peppers as the Secret Ingredient (no, not that peppers) and another with Bill Murray in the audience. Also, what the hell was Bill Murray doing in the audience?

The competitive streak that I try to suppress flared up and I suggested to Adam that we should have our own version of "Iron Chef" at home. He immediately bit, and we laid our own ground rules:

• Because of space issues, we would have to cook at different points. We chose successive Sunday nights. Adam would cook May 31 and I would cook June 7.
• Each Steel Chef - as I have now duped it - would choose the ingredient for the other, with the requirement of three dishes, each.
• Naturally, the dishes would have to be meat-free.
  
• Friends would be welcome to act as judges, but outside judges are not necessary, as we have a total of, like, four friends down here, and cannot always guarantee when they will be available.
  
• The bill for ingredients cannot be outrageously expensive. The idea is to challenge our creativity, to experiment with new dishes and enjoy a lightly competitive activity, not to blow whatever meager savings we have on a $45 bottle of truffle oil from Whole Paycheck.

I chose pineapple for Adam. He came through the challenge with flying colors, presenting an amazing meal of:

• Pineapple, mango and papaya salsa with fresh mint and chopped red onion, served with blue corn chips. This was my favorite dish.
  
• Pineapple and cheese enchiladas, which go together much more harmoniously than you might expect.
• Pineapple smoothie, with blended orange juice, pineapple and vanilla ice cream, which paired beautifully with the warm pineapple cobbler.

My dear friend, K.B., served as the guest judge that evening and arrived armed with a pineapple spritzer for Adam and a delicious pineapple rum smoothie for "the ladies." (P.S. Having a bartender as your girl is tots awesome). I believe it's fair to say that Adam's delectable offerings only increased my fondness for the spiky fruit and he was the clear winner of the evening.

The next day, Adam revealed my secret ingredient: almonds. This is a great one to work with, since it transitions wonderfully from sweet to savory dishes.

For my menu, I prepared:

• A beautiful Tuscan almond salad with freshly crumbled feta, diced granny smith apple, dried cranberries, matchstick carrots, toasted slivered almonds and light olive oil and vinegar dressing. Adam said it was among the best salads he's had. The recipe was adapted from one I found online, minus the bacon bits and onion.

• Black bean burritos, with toasted slivered almonds, quick barley, cheese (just a little) and a healthy side of tequila lime salsa and guacamole (and sliced avocado for garnish). These were delicious, with the almonds adding a nutty crunch that was accounted for, but did not overwhelm the dish.
  
• Dessert was an almond, apple cinnamon bread, served warm with vanilla ice cream. This was good, but the wonky cook times on our oven meant it turned out a bit more dry than I think a fruit bread should be.

Sadly, I do not have images of every dish presented for this first round of the challenge. Adam had them stored on his glorious new iMac, which some &*%^ saw fit to waltz into our apartment and "borrow without asking" three days after purchase.

They also took my iPod and related accessories, including the cable that I could use to connect my phone to my computer for easy download of images. Blerg. (Incidentally, I hope whomever winds up with my iPod and workout arm band appreciates my awesome mix skills and develops a horrible skin reaction from all of the cat dander. I also hope the iMac goes all "Hal from 2001" and seeks to destroy its new "owners.")

Round two of Steel Chef will likely commence in August, as June and July will be filled with flights home to see the folks in Michigan and the quest to move into an apartment that doesn't make me contemplate a new lifepath.


Ideally, we'll have a larger working space in the new kitchen. AND I've got two rad people (a work colleague and her husband) chomping at the bit to be judges. Should be a wonderful second round.

Big, bold art in West Palm Beach

A room/gallery space at Showtel in April at Hotel Biba


Last weekend, we went to see Trump in the Dark in Palm Beach. It was very cool and I am pleased that I was able to convince Adam to enter Palm Beach County after last time's Dark Incident (of which we do not speak).

We continue to be impressed by the art in PBC. Showtel at Hotel Biba last month was unlike any art show I've attended and Trump was equally engaging. Lots of performance art, huge installations, interactive pieces, the use of non-traditional exhibition spaces and video art. No boring paintings or pieces of string tacked to the wall with a $1500 price tag*.

*I realize that lots of "art" that doesn't look like art is actually very meaningful Art, but I still want to be entertained on a Saturday night.

A human fly at Showtel

Another fun thing about attending art openings and gallery shows in PBC, is that the scene is much more chill than in Miami. Because, despite enjoying Wynnwood art walks immensely, it can be an intense microcosm of cool. I'm constantly wondering if I should be wearing a romper.

Palm Beach is - shockingly - more laid-back. There are still hipsters, to be sure. But it's an "Urban Outfitters in East Lansing" level of Hipster, as opposed to the "American Apparel showroom in Brooklyn" magnitude of MiMo.

I did get an intense kick out of the band that played at Trump. They had something to do with zombies. Gold lame leggings. Star-shaped guitar. Lyrics about eating brains. Purposely ugly glasses. The irony was palpable. I haven't seen any other bands like this since moving to Florida.

Weeknight Quick Meal: Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad

If every day was Sunday, every meal would be a glorious feast of carefully thought-out and lovingly constructed Sunday Supper proportions. But since I still haven't found a Boca sugar daddy to support my lavish boxed wine and avocado fetishes, there are far more evenings spent hunched over the computer with an especially heinous frozen dinner (ewww, Lean Cuisine Vegetable Eggroll) and looming work deadlines, then are spent roaming the aisles of Whole Paycheck, purchasing ingredients for the Next Great Meal.

Many nights when I feel pressed for time, but can't stomach another high-preservative nuked dinner, I make a big salad. With lots of stuff in it.

The salad always changes, depending on what's on-hand, but on the best nights, it combines different textures and flavors into a harmonious creation. A perfect salad should satisfy the appetite and stick to the ribs. It should have a lean protein, fresh vegetables and a source of good fat. The salad below has all of the above, and is so quick to assemble, you'll have plenty of time left over to obsessively Facebook while you should be working on a deadline project.

Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad (Current Version)
Chopped Romaine lettuce
1 Tbs. pine nuts
1/2 diced ripe avocado
6 Morningstar Farms Chik'n strips, grilled on the stove-top for five minutes and diced
2 Tbs. reduced fat feta cheese
1/4 cup chopped sugar snap pea pods
Small handful of sliced carrot pieces
5-6 sprays Ken's Steakhouse Lite Accents Mixed Berry

(Grape tomatoes and sliced red bell pepper also go well with this blend.)

Hipster Paradise

Last weekend, we entertained a guest from Michigan. Saturday night, we took him to the art walk in the Wynnwood District of Miami, ostensibly to look at art, but mostly, to look at the f***ing hipsters.

It did not disappoint.

"Your outfit is so 'Saved By the Bell.' That's a thing, right?"
"Yeah, totally. It's this really shitty show that I watch ironically every morning before my conceptual pottery class."
"Hmmm."
"What?"
"It's just, I thought sincerity was the new irony."
"It was. But it switched back. Which is perfect, cause that means your Kanye glasses are back in style. I think. Maybe. You should take them off your head and put them on your face, so that the square redhead lurking behind you can more easily take a picture of them. "

"Why, yes. This leotard is from American Apparel. How did you know?"


I am a terrible person.

Sunday Supper: Asparagus and Potato Tart

Potato and asparagus tart.

In the spirit of thrift - and these days, that's the name of the game - today's offering, Asparagus and Potato Tart, combines leftover supplies from two previous Sunday Supper offerings; potatoes (From the Indian Stew) and phyllo (filo) dough (from the Veggie Quiche). Thank you to Adam's sister-in-law, Madelen, for reading the blog and passing along this Foodnetwork recipe. It was a huge hit, and I've been eating the leftovers for days.

My adaptation and notes for this very easy and wonderfully filling dish:

Ingredients
-3-4 nice sized Yukon Gold potatoes, scrubbed, chopped into 1/2 inch cubes. I left the skins on for fiber.
-Sea salt
-1 pound asparagus, ends trimmed
-20 sheets phyllo dough, thawed
-Sesame seeds, to taste
-1/2 cup melted soy margarine
-1/2 cup shredded cheddar
-1/2 cup mozzarella (NOTE: I subbed this in for Lancashire cheese. See notes below for more detail)
-3 eggs
-8 oz. soy milk
-1/2 Tbs. nutmeg
-Freshly ground pepper
-Two sliced Roma tomatoes

Directions:

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, and add potatoes. Cook for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, blanch asparagus in a separate pan for four minutes and drain in a colander.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Lightly grease a glass pan. I used a lasagna size, but a round pan also would work. Layer the sheets of phyllo pastry, lightly covering with melted butter and sprinkling with sesame seeds as you go. Allow about one inch to hang over the edge. Create a crust that is 5-6 sheets thick. Set aside.

When potatoes are tender enough to poke easily with a fork, drain them and put into a large mixing bowl. Smash with the cheeses. In a second dish, mix together eggs and milk and stir into potato blend. Sprinkle with nutmeg and pepper, and mix well. Pour the mix into the phyllo shell and bring the sides up to form a rim.

Line the top of the pie with the asparagus and tomato slices. Spread the remaining butter across the top. Bake for 25 minutes, or until crisp. Cool for 10 minutes before serving.

Tips:

Use the right cheeses! I used mozzarella instead of Lancashire, and I have no doubt this impacted the flavor. Unfortunately, the not-as-great Publix closest to my home has a mediocre cheese selection, and Lancashire is most certainly not in their arsenal. I thought about Emmenthaler, but at $7.89 for the smallest chunk, it defeated the whole "budget" concept that I was going for. I should have chosen Swiss, or a sharp cheddar, at the very least. A strong cheese makes the difference in this pie, and mozzarella certainly is not strong.

Despite a disappointing showing from the cheeses - which, actually is OK, seeing as I don't dig on cheese too much these days - this pie was nothing, if not delicious. The nutmeg and crispy sesame crust are key. The addition of tomatoes to the recipe also was a good call (pat on back).

We served this with a nice salad (avocado, pine nuts, feta, romaine, carrot) and later, key lime frozen yogurt.

Sunday Supper: Potato and Spinach Indian Stew

Potato and spinach Indian stew with toasted Naan.

For today's offering, we turn once again to the April issue of Vegetarian Times (speaking of which, where in the hell is the May issue?) for a recipe that absolutely begged my attention: Yukon Gold and Baby Spinach Masala.
"Fun" fact about Florida (unrelated to driving): It is really hard to find Indian cuisine in this region. There are more Thai-Sushi (score!) and Greek (score again!) eateries than I've seen in my life, but only a very small handful of Indian restaurants. By handful, I mean one (1). I think there are more Indian restaurants in Grand Rapids, Michigan, than in the greater Miami area. What's a girl who's craving freshly baked Naan and savory stews to do? Make it herself.

Indian potato stew (adapted from a V.T. recipe)
Ingredients:
-1 lb. Yukon Gold potatoes, cut into 1/2 cubes (four cups)
-2 Tbs. canola oil
-1 large white onion, diced
-2 garlic cloves, minced
-2 Tbs. fresh ginger, minced
-1 tsp. ground coriander
-1/2 tsp. ground cumin
-1/2 tsp. turmeric
-1 can of coconut milk (13.5 oz)
-1 six-ounce bag of fresh spinach, de-stemmed
-1 Tbs. lime juice

Directions:
-Steam potatoes above simmering water for 15-20 minutes, or just until tender. The directions say to use a steamer basket*, so I used my (metal) colander set atop a pot of boiling water. Seemed to work just fine.
-Heat oil in a large skillet (I used a large frying pan and cursed myself for being too lazy to have still not seasoned my wok) over medium heat. Add onion and saute 10 minutes. Add garlic and ginger and saute until fragrant. Stir in coriander, cumin and turmeric. Add potatoes and saute 1-2 minutes. Add coconut milk (NOTE: Shake the can before you open it!) and 1/4 cup water. Bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer 10 minutes, or until sauce thickens.
-Add spinach and 1/4 cup water and cook until spinach is wilted. Stir in lime juice and serve atop rice.

Tips:
*A minor complaint about Vegetarian Times, a publication I love dearly. The recipes are not the most budget-friendly. Often, they call for too many (exotic) ingredients and kitchen contraptions not found in the average home. I often find myself passing over V.T. recipes because they have more than 15 ingredients and/or require cheesecloth or some other random thing that costs $5-$20. The good news; most of them easily can be adapted to a thrifty budget and still taste fairly hoity-toity.
The original recipe called for a jalapeno chile pepper (Nah, thanks). As the recipe name would suggest, it also called for garam masala. But seeing as South Florida does not like Indian food, I could not find the garam masala. After 10 minutes in the spice aisle at Publix (on top of 40 minutes spent in the rest of the store), I decided that garam masala was stupid and unnecessary. On a related note, if anyone from the north wants to mail some garam masala to my home, I would be most appreciative.
The other spices seemed to provide sufficient flavor. Oh, and turmeric is really yellow and will stain white countertops, FYI. The recipe also calls for fresh cilantro, which I like, but Adam hates. It's an acquired taste, so if someone in your dinner party loathes it, go ahead and leave it out. The dish won't suffer terribly.
Serve with jasmine rice and toasted Naan (prepared in a lightly greased pan on the stovetop). There will be leftovers for days - and days.

Sunday Supper, Episode 4: Vegan club sandwich recipe

There are a few things that I miss about Michigan, with friends and family ranking high on the list. I also miss the vegan club from Brick Road Pizza. A lot.

For three months, I've contemplated the possibility of emulating the Grand Rapids' restaurant's recipe at home. Earlier this month, I tried. It didn't taste like Brick Road's version, but it was good in its own right. The inspiration and basis for my sandwich(s) was taken from Vegweb.com, where I found the simple - if unwieldy named - "Husbands Love This Vegan Club Sandwich." Full credit and a sincere thank you to the creator of the recipe.

As always, I altered the recipe to suit my tastes, budget and pantry contents.

Vegan Club Sandwich
Ingredients
-1 block of extra firm tofu, drained, patted dry and cut into 1/2" thick slices
- 1/2 block tempeh, cut into thin slices
- 3 TB extra virgin olive oil
- 1-2 TB soy sauce
- 1-2 tsp Dijon mustard
- Cracked black pepper, to taste
- 1/4 tsp liquid smoke (Surprisingly cheap at Whole Foods)
- Naan, one piece per sandwich
- 3 pieces of Romaine lettuce
- Sliced tomato
- Vegan mayo (I am obsessed with Vegenaise)

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Tofu cutlets: Mix a marinade olive oil, soy sauce, Dijon and black pepper in a small bowl. Dip each piece of tofu in the bowl and place on a lightly oiled baking sheet. Save leftover marinade.
Tempeh bacon: Add liquid smoke the marinade and dip each piece of tempeh into the mix. Do this carefully, since tempeh is pretty dry and tends to crumble before cooking. Place this on a separate baking sheet.

Place both baking sheets in oven. Flip tofu and tempeh slices after 15 minutes, and cook for another 15 minutes, or until tofu is golden brown and tempeh is crisp. Let cool.

Build your sandwich by lightly toasting the bread. Spread vegan mayo on each side of bread, layer tempeh and tofu, and add lettuce and tomatoes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Tips: Keep a close eye on the tempeh, which can quickly escalate from "nice and crisp" to "No, no. I like well-done food. Honestly, honey, I don't mind that it's tearing my mouth to pieces."
The recipe calls for maple syrup for the marinade. I bet this is a delicious touch. However, with the pronounced lack of deciduous trees in Florida, maple syrup is outlandishly priced - even for Whole Foods. The recipe also calls for white bread, but I felt Naan would be the closet thing to the delicious homemade bread served at Brick Road Pizza. It was the right call. Also, next time, I will marinate the cutlets for about 20 minutes and add chopped dill pickles as a topping. And, heck - I would like to throw seitan in the mix somewhere. It's no BRP, but it's the closest thing we've got.

Trouble in paradise: Pet peeves about Florida

Make no mistake. I am delighted that I moved to Florida. Cool job, nice apartment, great winter/spring weather, proximity to beaches, new people, outdoor festivals, great restaurants, burgeoning art scene, killer people watching, etc. No regrets.
But as with any situation, you take the good (beaches, weather) with the not-so-good (hurricane season and horrifying stance on capital punishment.) It's been awhile since I wrote an acerbic post, so why not? Here they are: The things I hate most about Florida.


1. The drivers.

It's not so much that the traffic is bothersome. Yeah, I could do without the hour-long commute to work each way, but it's inevitable, given that twenty billion people live in Broward, Dade and Palm Beach counties (True story.) No - it's the drivers that make driving intolerable.
In Michigan, whenever you see someone with a Florida plate, someone would say: "People from Florida can't drive." It's funny/enraging because it's true. They can't! No one down here can drive. They all think they can and they are wrong. It's as if every day is the first day of driver's ed for everyone on the highway. They all seem to operate with the "I'm impervious to death" attitude of a 15-year-old and the attention-span of a fruit fly. These are the worst drivers I have ever seen - and I've driven in Boston. During rush hour. No, my friends. This - this - is some seriously amazing carelessness.

Florida drivers (and this includes snowbirds, locals and tourists) fall into at least one or more categories: death-wish motorcyclists, freeway accident Lookie-Loos, Loni Lanedrifters, obsessive hornhonkers, pedestrian hitters, obviously-compensating-for-something-Hummer-driving-tailgaters and Cellphone Suzies. Oh, and the jerks who drive 45 MPH in the car pool lane during H.O.V. hours with no passengers.

I've never seen such reckless endangerment of life (or more accurately, multiple lives). People change lanes without looking in mirrors or checking blind spots - all while flinking around on their Blackberries and "steering" an SUV at 90 miles an hour - like it's their jobs.

The most baffling part of the puzzle is, if you spend any time on I-95, you are constantly reminded of the dangers of driving. On any given day, I see one to six accidents. A high percentage of these are fender-benders caused by people slowing down to rubberneck at a fender-bender on the other side of the road, as if it's a herd of unicorns or something never seen in all of human existence, instead of something that is as much a part of the daily commute as getting honked at for waiting "too long" to go on a green light. Often enough, there is a stomach-turning, send-chills-down-your-spine kind of accident scene (with special Serious Incident response vehicles) that should make you slow down and reconsider your driving habits. But it only seems to increase the need to lurch erratically into the path of a vehicle traveling at a faster rate of speed than you for no discernible reason. The fact that I will one day become a Florida Driver serves only to fan the flames of bile and contempt.




2. Creepy crawlies
The cats have/had(?) fleas. Our apartment has sugar ants, fruit flies and the occasional horrifyingly gigantic "Palmetto Bug" (which the cats seem to enjoy killing. Thank you, boys.). Reportedly, the summer brings ravenous mosquitoes, flying fire ants and locust swarms. Welcome to paradise!







3. Red Tape
There is no Florida Secretary of State, at least, not like we know it to be. And several months spent trying to secure a Florida driver's license, car registration and plates might convince you that there is no God. Never has a state made seemingly straight-forward tasks - proving you are a citizen and a licensed driver - more needlessly complicated. The Florida Department of Transportation caused me to use the "F" word on the phone with my mother at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. K.B. and I think the state slogan should be changed to: "Florida: Just how badly do you want this?" I'll say one thing for this state - they certainly know how to make you work for it. Oh, and I don't need some smartass to send me a link to the Florida Department of Transportation. The answers are not there. You might think they are. They are not.

4. Legions of Gym Guys - As far as the eye can see!

5. Ed Hardy.
Adam and I have the misfortune of living below an Ed Hardy loving Gym Guy and his high-heel wearing girlfriend. Cheesiest. Neighbors. Ever.

Sunday Supper, Episode 3: Surprisingly easy vegetarian quiche

Vegetarian quiche with spinach, feta and tomato

Quiche always has seemed a lofty creation, one which must be treated with a certain level of reverence. "Oh! Mustn't open the oven whilst the quiche is baking, lest we disturb its delicate baking process. Do not look directly at the quiche! Never look directly at the quiche!"
But this recipe is easy. So easy, in fact, that I was able to pull it together at 8 p.m., after a long and expensive* visit to Publix and a growling stomach that caused me to cut corners and race against the clock. (*The quiche ingredients were not expensive. The damned cats and their special food are expensive.)

The recipe is a very close adaptation of the cover-featured recipe from the April 2009 issue of Vegetarian Times (recipe not yet available online). The VT is my vegetarian Bible. Every issue is filled with mouth-watering photos and amazing sounding recipes. It is a very motivating publication and I save every dog-earred copy in a pile next to my stack of cookbooks.

Veggie quiche (Adapted from a Vegetarian Times recipe)
Ingredients
-6-8 sheets frozen phyllo dough, thawed (This should be thawed at room temp for two hours. Or, if you're like me, microwaved for 30 seconds and very carefully pulled apart)
-3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
-2-3 tsp. sesame seeds
-1 10-ounce package of frozen spinach, thawed with all water squeezed out
-3/4 low-fat feta cheese
-20 grape tomatoes, halved
-2 eggs
-1 cup soy milk
-Pinch ground nutmeg
-Sea salt and ground pepper to taste

Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. To make the crust, place first phyllo sheet into a lightly greased glass pie pan. Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Cover with a sheet of phyllo. Repeat as desired (as in, if you want a thick crust, repeat the step with 7 or 8 more sheets, thinner crust=less layers). Press cheese into crust. Cover with spinach and top with tomato halves. Whisk together eggs, milk, nutmeg, salt and pepper in a medium bowl and pour over crust. Place on a baking sheet in middle of oven. The recipe recommends 45 to 50 minutes, but I left mine in for closer to 55, or just about long enough for the top to turn brown and the center to set.

Tips
I intend to try a vegan version of quiche, if such a thing exists. This recipe is pleasantly and surprisingly light. The crust is crisp and not at all heavy. Because there is no butter and only two eggs, this is a relatively light quiche. Next time, I plan to try an egg alternative and add more vegetables, such as steamed asparagus or artichoke. The more veggies, the better, right? This pie disappeared quite quickly, but Adam said what little leftovers remained were just as tasty the next afternoon.
A HIGHLY recommended entree. A bit labor intensive, but delicious and easy on the wallet.

Zoology lesson: Study of a Pepe

A Pepe Le Pew (also referred to as a "Pep Pep," "Peepers," "Pep," "Peeper Squeaker," and various other monikers) is a small boned, highly excitable member of the Mammalia class. Though believed upon initial examination to be a member of the Felis genus, subsequent exposures and six months of intensive study have led a team of researchers to reclassify the mammal as a hybrid of the Rattus and Sciuridae genus, with a dash of monkey and lemur thrown in the genetic pool.

Yes. This is a blog about one of my cats. Pepe, to be exact. But bear with me. This is not a "cat blog," per se, but a singular entry about a cat.

In all my years of cat ownership and appreciation, never have I encountered a specimen like Pepe.
He is wild, hyper, terribly behaved, fearless and very loving. He destroys houseplants, neatly made beds, iPod headphones (two in one month, score!), water glasses and any sense of order that may have existed in our family prior to his arrival. These are some images of the creature in his natural habitat:

Top to bottom: Channeling Cujo while his gentlemanly brother, Robot, cuddles; chilling on the door; preparing to ruin Christmas; more door walking;nesting in a garbage can; IKEA time.

Sunday Supper, Episode 2; Almost Vegan Mac 'n' Cheese

This week's Sunday Supper is a bit of a cheat. I had planned to make vegan club sandwiches and a creative side salad as a festive meal for Adam, who starts classes tomorrow at the Art Institute (yea!). But as the effects of spending a weekend in the blazing Florida sun sink in, I'm feeling in no mood to eat, let alone cook.

So, I'm cheating and posting a recipe for a delicious vegan mac 'n' cheese that I cooked for the first time last month. It's a recipe from Sublime, a Fort Lauderdale vegetarian restaurant that is supposed to be excellent. I found this in the print edition of the Sun Sentinel. It pays to read the newspaper, kids! I followed this pretty closely and it was sooo good. Creamy and amazing, with a pleasant consistency and flavor. Apologies for the lack of an accompanying photo.

Almost Vegan Mac 'n' Cheese

Ingredients
-Salt and freshly cracked pepper, to taste
-Water
-2 1/2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
-1/2 cup (1 stick) vegan margarine (Got ours at Whole Foods)
-1/2 cup flour (I use Hodgson Mills half white/half wheat blend)
-1 quart plain unsweetened soy milk
-2 cups grated shredded rice cheese (From Whole Foods. Couldn't find shredded soy cheese.)
-1/2 cup organic, grass fed, shredded white cheddar (As a conciliatory gesture to Adam, whom I thought would like a hint of real cheese)
-2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, divided
-1 cup Italian seasoning panko crumbs
-Next time I make this, I will add 1 tsp. of dried dill weed

Directions:
Cook the macaroni according to directions. Drain and set aside. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. In a large, heavy saucepan melt the margarine over medium heat. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, about 1 minute. Slowly whisk in the soy milk and continue whisking until the mixture begins to thicken. Stir in the cheese and mustard and keep stirring until it melts and is well blended (Stirring is an important part of this dish..). Season with salt and pepper, and maybe that dried dill. Remove it from the heat and mix it with the macaroni.

Transfer to a shallow 2-quart casserole or baking dish. In a small bowl, use a fork to mix the remaining mustard with the crumbs. Scatter evenly over the top of the casserole. Bake in the center of the oven 25 to 30 minutes or until bubbly and golden brown.

Tips:
This doesn't taste like regular mac 'n' cheese, so you're not going to be able to "fool" anyone. But it is less oily and heavy than the traditional dish, and should be able to win even a non-believer. The crunchy topping more than makes up for the missing cholesterol. This made enough for dinner, plus leftovers for two days and a portion to freeze. Serve with a salad or veggie side, and you're ready to go!

A beach diary: Florida sea pests and the purple flag of doom

An adorable Portuguese Man-of-War scurries along Hollywood Beach in his quest to ruin Beach Day. Honestly. He looks like he should be carrying a briefcase and wearing a trench. So official.

Portuguese Man o' War - 8

Humans - 0

Beaching in South Florida has been a challenge since mid-March. The Broward County lifeguards have been flying the purple flag - sea pest warning - on a regular basis. The beaches have been littered with Portuguese Man-of-War and swimming can be a risky venture.

....Ditto for beach combing. The man-of-war is purple and puffy, and looks like a deflated balloon, or one of those phallic noodle finger-trap things that always are an option at arcade prize ticket redemption counters. They look like innocent beach treasures, but beware; this souvenir can sting!

The jellies are common this time of year, and I understand the "locals" get a little kick out of all the spring breakers who flock to South Florida to drunkenly hit the beach, only to wind up having to ask someone to pee on their foot (for a reason other than too many shots at the Elbo Room and a series of escalating dares.) Incidentally, urine is not a recommended cure for a jelly sting. That was clearly made up by someone with a very specific fetish or a fervent hatred of tourists - or both.

The Man-of-War invasion has something to do with the direction and velocity of winter winds. When we hit the beach Sunday, it was rainy, but we waded in anyhow. Minutes later, we were booted out for a thunderstorm that never materialized. When the guards replaced the red "No Swimming" flag with yellow ("Swim if you dare, stupid tourist") they added the dreaded purple. Do the jellies come in with the storms, like waves of beautiful, painful ocean debris? Some mysteries are better left unsolved. Or at the most, poked with a stick from a safe distance.

Sunday Supper, Episode 1: Vegetarian citrus stir-fry with cashews and tofu

Stir-fry is a favorite in our house, despite the fact I've been too lazy to season the wok I bought in October. Nine times out ten, I make the same version, with tofu, veggies (pea pods, bell peppers, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, baby corn), pineapple and bottled sweet and sour sauce. It's delicious, but the packaged sauce is loaded with sugar.

This evening, I decided to forgo the sticky, neon pink sweet and sour and make something from scratch. AllRecipes.com had a delicious-sounding recipe for Citrus Veggie Stir-Fry that I adapted to our tastes, budget and pantry contents. My version is below, but I give full credit to the creator, Dorothy Swanson. It's a very straight-forward meal with most of the labor concentrated in the chopping phases. Timing can be an issue with stir-fry, particularly when it comes to the rice. Ideally, you will finish the rice and stir-fry at the same time, but I have yet to make that happen. It wasn't comfortable to hang around a hot stove on an 80 degree/90 percent humidity Florida night, but the results were well worth sweating it out:



Ingredients:
-1 Tbs. cornstarch
-1 cup orange juice
-2 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
-1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
-1/8 teaspoon sweet chili sauce (instead of hot pepper sauce, which is unnaturally expensive at Whole Foods)
-1 cup thinly sliced carrot (I used the "carrot chips" from Publix)
-1 cup sliced red pepper (leftover from dinner a few nights previous)
-1 cup sliced yellow pepper (Super expensive at Whole Foods. Boo.)
-1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil (instead of canola, which I seldom use)
-2 cups frozen snow pea pods
-1/2 cup chopped pineapple
-1/2 cup coarsely chopped salted cashews (cheapest option was the bulk nut section at Whole Foods)
-1/2 cup chopped green onion
-2 cups cooked Thai Jasmine Rice
-1 package extra firm tofu

Directions:
Drain the tofu, pat it dry and cut into one-inch squares. Heat the olive oil in a pan (or ideally, a wok) and drop the tofu in, watching for the sizzle. Let it cook on all sides until brown. Mix the first five ingredients together and set aside; or, pour a small amount into the pan with the tofu to start imparting a bit of flavor. Chop all the veggies and the pineapple. Start the rice, according to directions.
Once the tofu is starting to brown, add the carrots and bell peppers and stir(fry) everything together. In about ten minutes, add the pea pods. Cook for an additional 5-6 minutes and add the onions and pineapple, simmer for another five minutes. Add the sauce and bring to a boil, cook an additional 5 minutes.
Remove from heat; serve atop rice and cover with cashews.

Tips:
The important thing is to stir frequently, so that the flavors mesh and everything cooks evenly. That said, give it a little space; you don't want to Mother Hen the mixture to death. This was more tart than my usual stir-fry, and the ginger added a savory edge. It was nice to eat homemade stir-fry without the (sometimes) chemically after-taste of bottled sauce (not that I'm done forever with the neon La Choy variety). This will make enough for four servings; cook extra rice for leftovers.

Recommended pairings:
A chilled white wine (I had Rockbridge County white table wine), fresh fruit (mango, pineapple, banana, strawberry with non-fat, plain yogurt) for dessert and "Manhattan Murder Mystery."
Enjoy.

Travel writing and Trazzler.com

Just discovered Trazzler.com. I don't know what rock I have been hiding under, but this is a wonderful resource for someone who loves travel, writing and would ultimately love to become a travel writer. Perhaps I need to utilize this "Google" thing to search for more useful bits of information than "beyonce halo rhianna umbrella" and "how to wear white pants."*

Lo and behold, the user-generated-content site holds monthly contests in order to find new freelance writers. Each month has a unique theme, and March is "geological anomaly." After giving thought to writing about Blagojevich's hair, I decided to opt for Franz Josef Glacier in New Zealand. I plan to enter a few more in the coming days.

Here is my entry. Please (shameless self promotion alert) feel free to read the (very) brief "trip," recommend it, pass it along, add it to your wishlist, etc. etc. Thousands have entered the contest, making my chances rather slim, sadly. But it is very fun to once again write about travel and a great reminder that my passport is expired and it's been far too long since I've taken an excrutiatingly long flight overseas.

*These are actual searches conducted while I was meant to be scouring the Internets for freelance work. Not useful.

Who is television's most lovable quack?

The medical field is a gold mine for television. Consider the various Doctor genres:
Doctor as God ("E.R.", which is still on. I'm as shocked as you.)
Doctor as whiny, self-possessed ineffectual ("Private Practice" and "Grey's Anatomy")
Doctor as Child ("Doogie Howser")
Doctor as Sociopath ("House")
And so on.

By far, my favorite Doc Genre; Doctor as Source of Comic Gold by way of Secondary Quack Character.

Consider some of the best. And vote for your favorite.

Candidate: Dr. Leo Spaceman of "30 Rock" as brought to life by Chris Parnell of "Saturday Night Live."
Personality traits: Unethical, incompetent, jovial, vengeful, generous with pills.
Medical advice: Science is whatever you want it to be.
Qualifications: Medical degree from Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine.
Quote: (After dialing 411 in a medical emergency) "Uhh....diabetes repair?"





Candidate: Dr. Nick Riviera of "The Simpsons"
Personality traits: Unethical, incompetent, jovial, non-judgmental.
Medical advice: Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Qualifications: Graduated from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College
Quote: "Hi everybody!"


Candidate: Dr. Fishman on "Arrested Development"
Personality traits: Literal to a fault, terrible at delivering good/bad news.
Medical advice: Avoid blue paint, open windows and loose seals.
Qualifications: Unknown
Quote: "Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be 'all right'."

Clothing conundrum; How the hell do I wear white pants?

When I was preparing for my Michigan-to-Miami (area) move in January, I insinuated that if I wanted to fit in, I'd need to obtain white pants, blond extensions and augmented breasts. These jesting comments were a conciliatory nod to my stuck-in-Michigan friends; an olive branch of sorts - I acknowledged that, while, yes, I was moving to a much warmer, hipper locale, the new digs would come with some cheesy accompaniments.

Where was I?...ah, yes. The white pants. For all the snarky commentary and Will Smith references made in the past, I have deemed the previously offensive pantaloons to be a necessary evil. If March (save for the last two days) already is sunnier then the standard Michigan July, dark pants are not going to suffice. Add to that, the Museum is kept at a "comfortable" 47 degrees Fahrenheit, making dresses and skirts an equally unappealing option for everyday office wear. Enter the dreaded white pants. Where does this hostility towards this rather benign attire originate?

People's Exhibit #1, minute 2:38:





White pants can theoretically be a chic summer wardrobe staple. Paired with a solid colored top and a great pair of heels, they look super on those willowy, transparent Vogue girls. Then, you snap back to the real world and your reflection in the mirror at the Banana Republic fitting room and you begin to understand that unless you find a better option, you could potentially walk around in public looking like an exhibitionist Gilligan.

Aside from choosing wide-leg, lined styles, how can I make this work? The countdown to the summer meltdown is ticking away. If this mission fails, I'll simply have to stick with skirts and dresses for work, but pick up one of these, probably in blue:

Miami Art Walk: Wynwood Design District

Gold Shoes by Adam Boot (2009). Adam shot this at the Art Walk last night. I think it belongs in a frame and on a wall.

When living in Grand Rapids, I was always fond of the Division Avenue area and the quest to create a thriving hub for artists to live and work and display their art. The Avenue for the Arts concept and events prove it can be a successful model, even in a conservative area, like West Michigan.

It's not fair to compare Grand Rapids to a city the size of Miami, but last night, during my first excursion to the once-a-month art walk in Miami's Wynwood Art District, I couldn't help it. People were out in droves. Trendy young mothers with strollers, tourists, flashy dressed older men and more hipsters than you can shake an ironic mustache at. My friend, K.B., had told me about the event beforehand, saying it's flooded with interested young art fans and serious buyers. If only every city were fortunate enough to have such a strong show of support for new and mid-career artists.

Here is a description of the area, pulled from a gallery guide site:

"Wynwood Art District is the favorite hub of emerging artists, art galleries, project spaces, artists studios, experimental venues, and world class private collections that have turned into modern museums. Margulies, Rubell Family and Scholl Collections are in this District, and they are open to the public on preset seasons. Check their listings in our Museums and Collections section. The second Saturday of each month, galleries and art studios in Wynwood as well as the Design District, are open to art lovers until 10 pm. Wynwood is the only Circuit where walking is an issue, since galleries are far apart from each other, therefore, take your car."

We didn't know the district layout, and thus, missed a lot of the galleries. Because I am new to the scene, I'm not 100 percent on which galleries we visited, but I recall Gallery Diet, Linda Copeland Studio/Gallery, Punk Rock Bourgeoisie, David Castillo Gallery and Lyle O. Reitzel. My favorite was Chelsea Galleria, which had a nice mix of artists and media, including some beautiful black and white images of Paris and Coney Island. I'm a sucker for carnival imagery.

I was less enthralled with the show at Diet, which looked like a collection of manuscripts hung on walls. I'm sure it symbolized something intriguing, but I didn't have the patience to dig through the layers. Another gallery (name?) was showing video art, including some pretty raw sex scenes, shot in night vision, a la Paris Hilton. Thankfully, I saw no mothers steer their strollers through those gallery doors.

One of the galleries had a painting of Philippe Petit (of "Man on Wire"), which instantly caught my eye. Adam made a good point in that the artist seemed overly fixated in making the wire walker's face recognizable, instead of capturing the essence of his faithful act. The final product was too flat to convey the magic of what Petit did on that day. For now, I will stick with the amazing photographs:

People's mode of dress was nearly as intriguing as the art. Miami is a city where anything goes, and the style abounds. This is people watching at its finest. Add to that, DJs, free booze and police that facilitate the process of revelers meandering down the street with glasses of wine, and you've got some wonderful free entertainment. Looking forward to next month's round.

Wynwood District Art Walk. Photo by A.B.

Youthful indiscretion

I got my first tattoo, a silhouette of a slender black cat on my left foot/lower ankle, the day I turned 18.



I originally found the image -seen above - in an ad for the Magic Bag nightclub in an issue of MetroTimes (where I would later intern.) I tore it out and kept it until the day I was legal. Nearly a dozen years later, I still love the image and placement, and feel no regret.

The same cannot be said for my second (and technically third) tattoo; a set of three Chinese characters at the small of my back. The first, "Ocean," was obtained when I was 20. It looked lonely, so I added two more less than a year later ("air" and "earth," respectively. Sheesh.)

Talk about not thinking in terms of longevity. Of all the cliched, boring, cheesy tattoos in the world, Chinese Characters On Small of Back rank just below Barbed Wire On Upper Arm, and slightly above Butterfly On Ankle.

Every preachy, know-it-all ink naysayer was proven correct when several years after the fact, I wished it gone. But, tacky as it was, it never seemed an urgent matter. I lived in Michigan and hit the beach 10 times a summer, tops. Living in a slightly warmer, oceanside community, circumstances have changed and this image, it, vexes me.

But what to choose for the camouflage? Originally, I wanted a tree. But give it three years and trees will be the new Chinese characters, mark my words.

I hope to find a great South Florida artist who can take my foggy idea, and shape it into something more timeless and unique than a trio of characters that when grouped together actually mean something along the lines of "Air Ocean Sheep Ground."

Below are some images that I am toying with.

The work of Charley Harper. I would love to use one of his wildlife images, preferably of a sea creature or a bird. His style is clean and simple, but also technically sound, whimsical and well done. Very aesthetically pleasing.

Art deco. I gravitate toward images of women in long gowns with cigarette lighters and page boy haircuts, turn of the century skyscrapers or foreign travel, but these palms really grabbed my eye.

Back in the saddle

I loathe writing these introductory blog posts.

They stick around for ages; long after it seems cute or novel to have an entry that tries to explain why you should fritter away your valuable company time reading my musings on such important issues as; how did last night's sushi compare to last week's sushi?

Regardless, welcome to my shred of the Internet. When I was with the Grand Rapids Press, I loved keeping a regular blog, The New Black (plug, plug, it's still archived). I've missed it. But I am excited to have full creative control of what I write - even if my audience is considerably smaller (hi mom!).

I hope to, at the very least, keep friends and family updated as to what is happening in my life. Despite ditching my newspaper job for a career in marketing and public relations, writing will always be my passion. This is a small way to stay connected to the old life, without sacrificing my enjoyment of the new .

And.....scene.